Ryan Hadfield (1970

This memorial website was created in the memory of my loved one, Ryan Ronald Hadfield (aka Hadfu, Hadfu 26, Hadfu70, Batman, as his friends would say "Cryin Ryan" and our term of endearment HONEYSA!!!!) who was born in New Jersey on December 26, 1970 and passed away in his home March 15, 2006 at the age of 35. Ryan was a Detective with the Hudson County Prosecutors Office, Jersey City, NJ where he worked in the field of Insurance Fraud since 2003 and prior to that he was in the SAVA unit.

Ryan is survived by his fiancee' Jo-Anne Cassidy of Old Bridge, NJ where Ryan had resided and wanted to live the rest of his life. We were to married on September 9, 2006 in St. Augustine, Florida.  Family and friends miss him dearly...he had a beautiful impact on everyone he came into contact with.

I met Ryan March 13, 2004 and it was him that night I knew was the man I was going to marry. On our second date he warned me of the demons he harbored but after getting to know each other we "both" thought "we'd make it through". We had our ups and downs as does every couple, but we always said we had too much love to let anything come between us. He was tired of his old life and wanted to move on with what he thought was the "perfect" life,..me, my family my friends, he just wanted "new". He was a man that would walk into a room and his beauty would light up the room....his smile, his eyes.....his everything. I can just sit and think of him and remember the beautiful brown eyes that would stare at me and just remind me that we will be together forever. We never had the chance to have children but our choices were Ryan, Declan and Cassidy and funny enough we both agreed...shocker!!!  He was the most kind, caring person always putting himself last....that is what made me love him even more...I don't know what I am going to do without him, but both of our lives have changed forever and I will never in my heart let him go...he was and is my world.

I hold him dearly in my heart wherever I am, no matter time of day...I knew him for 2 years and a day which felt like a lifetime for both of us...he insisted that he never knew love like this before and I was more than happy to reciprocate. In two years he became my world, my best friend, my lover, my fiance, and would have been the father to our children....MY EVERYTHING and now he's gone!!

We were to be married on 9/9/2006 (Ryan, there was not a cloud in the sky it would have been "THE" perfect day) in which I was there with him in mind and spirit and with my friends that loved him dearly. Those of us that are here for him love him very much and I look forward to the day we meet again. (I have your text messages Ry and read them every day 143 143 143 143) Please visit http://www.suicidememorialwall.com and http://www.we-remember-them.com

Honeysa, I always wished a better life for you, you deserved it and no matter how deserted you felt...you know me and my family were always here for you.....I am out there doing so much for prevention!!!  Miss and Love you more than life itself and I hope you are finally at peace!!! 143 143 143 143

I MISS YOU SO MUCH HONEYSA!!!!!

IF TEARS COULD BUILD A STAIRWAY AND MEMORIES A LANE
I WOULD WALK RIGHT UP TO HEAVEN AND BRING YOU BACK AGAIN.

NO FAREWELL WORDS WERE SPOKEN. NO TIME TO SAY "GOODBYE".
YOU WERE GONE BEFORE I KNEW IT, AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY.

MY HEART STILL ACHES WITH SADNESS, AND SECRET TEARS STILL FLOW.
WHAT IT MEANT TO LOVE YOU- NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW.

BUT NOW I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO MOURN FOR YOU NO MORE:
TO REMEMBER ALL THE HAPPY TIMES, LIFE STILL HAS MUCH IN STORE.

SINCE YOU'LL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN, I PLEDGE TO YOU TODAY- A
HOLLOWED PLACE WITHIN MY HEART IS WHERE YOU'LL ALWAYS STAY.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN